Picture in your mind the ideal Christian life. What virtues do you see such an individual espousing? How would he/she act in daily life?

Very broadly, most people, even non-believers, might envision an extremely pious life filled with prayer and dedication to God. Perhaps that person might be active in the community and fully engaged in service to others. Or perhaps such a person might possess an extremely virtuous character, always meek and respectful to authority (Romans 13:1-2), cheerful in adversary and forgiving even when wronged (Matt 5:38-40).

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. (Romans 13:1-2 NRSVUE)

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you: Do not resist an evildoer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, turn the other also, and if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, give your coat as well, (Matt 5:38-40 NRSVUE).

He or she might be a loving spouse to their partner who reciprocates said love (Eph 5) while raising children that are equally pious and devoted to the Lord. In the church, that person would be surrounded by other like-minded people who are also equally faithful, loving and supportive for one another, perhaps emulating a system similar to early Christian communities in the book of Acts (Acts 6:32-34).

Wives, be subject to your husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife just as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Just as the church is subject to Christ, so also wives ought to be, in everything, to their husbands…. In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. (Ephesians 5:22-24;28 NRSVUE)

Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common. With great power the apostles gave their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold. (Acts 6:32-34 NRSVUE)

The list can go on for a long time. Regardless, it is clear that the Christian faith calls for believers to direct their lives towards some form of “ideal” state that distinguishes themselves from the rest of the world. How great it would be if all of us collectively cared for one another, acted more forgiving towards each other and submitted ourselves to ruling authorities who govern in a wise and just manner!

Ideals vs reality

Hundreds and thousands of hours of sermons have been preached on these ideals that we should strive for. However, what happens when these ideals are to be practiced in a world where not everyone is as patient and forgiving? What happens when a husband behaves abusively towards his wife? What if authorities rule out of self-interest?

Suddenly, the road ahead becomes less clear. How can Christians live practical lives while steering towards these ideals in mind, knowing that the rest of the world (or even their own brothers and sisters) may not be on board?

I thought of this issue when I overheard a conversation among the youths in church one day. The group had recently discussed several themes in the gospels; among one of them was the issue of forgiving your enemies. One of the questions brought up was “Is it easy to forgive your enemies?”

My mind immediately skipped across three levels of thoughts.

1. On a surface level, I thought “No”, simply because I projected my own character into a situation where I was called to extend forgiveness (I don’t see myself as being that charitable).
2. On a slightly deeper level, I thought “Yet, we still have to, even though it is hard”, because of what I knew about Jesus’s teachings (see Matt 5:38-40 above).
3. Yet, when I slowed down and refused the instinct to parrot the theologically-correct answer, I realized after I considered the extent of harm and brokenness prevalent in situations outside of my community, I could not, in good conscience, relate to that high calling of forgiving one’s enemies in all situations.  

For the next several weeks, I started considering other situations in life where I knew the ideal course of action as a Christian, yet the practical course of action seems to beg otherwise. Some of these scenarios include:

Civil movements and violence

I am fortunate to live in a time where I am not a minority group, nor living in an oppressive regime. But the same cannot be said about the generations of people who had to suffer under abusive colonial powers, dictatorships and powerful authority that enslave them. How were these people able to get out of such lives without resorting to civil disobedience or violent measures?

For groups under extreme oppression, no amount of Pauline doctrine (see Romans 13:1-2 above) was going to improve their status. Over the course of history, violence, not peace, has often been the instrument to bring about revolution and usher in new rights for populations whose opponents are way more powerful (and brutal). While nonviolent protests may have seen certain levels of success, many of the most impactful acts of revolution in modern history has been driven primarily by resorting to violence (see abolitionism and decolonization) – a spit in Paul’s doctrine in my view*.

*I think a case is possible that Paul had a different image on how a ruling body should rule and thus believers should submit properly to a ruling body that rules righteously (whatever that meant). However, there exists enough exceptions to this rule over the course of history that I find this blanket doctrine by Paul to be uninformative on how Christians should relate to government in the modern era.

Breakdown of reciprocation

Every Christian wedding loves a good dose of Ephesians 5 sprinkled into the sermon to remind husbands and wives of their new covenant to one another. Yet, what happens when that covenant breaks down?

In the same spirit in Eph 6, children are called to obey their parents while their parents raise their children in the discipline of the Lord. Slaves are called to obey their masters with respect and trembling while masters are called to do the will of God for their slaves. Clearly, there is a model of reciprocation being illustrated here to guide believers within a community to fulfil whatever roles they are placed in, be it parents, child, slave, master, husband or wife. This model can function well if both dominant and subordinate parties live up to their respective roles. Yet, I don’t find too many sermons discussing what happens if this social contract gets broken.

Handling cases when the social contract breaks down becomes tricky and may come into conflict with other doctrines that the church subscribes to. For example, does physical abuse constitute grounds for divorce? Going strictly by the NT text, no (see Matt 5:32 and 1 Corin 7 for the only two exceptions). Thus, churches may be reluctant to advise divorce, even in dire circumstances where the victim could experience great physical or psychological harm. Instead, victims are often counselled to seek the Lord to endure continuously, pray earnestly for a change of heart and extend forgiveness to the abuser. To me, such cases reflect the church’s failure to protect the vulnerable – another command that is consistently explicit in the OT.

What about other instances outside marital relationships? Toxic employers and work culture is a common problem that many corporate slaves nowadays can relate to. Even the most bright-eyed, positive, resilient Christian with the heart of a servant can be battered by the woes of toxic work culture. While letting one’s light shine before others may change the heart of a toxic manager, I suspect such developments to be the exception rather than the norm and I would not be surprised if the preferred course of action for most believers would be to throw in the towel and leave.

Too much wealth?

One of the most radical teachings of Jesus involve the handling of wealth, as espoused in Matt 19:21. This was later reflected in a radical division of wealth set up by the early community of believers as portrayed in the book of Acts (see Acts 6:32-34). In an ideal Christ-led world, wealth will no longer be concentrated in the pockets of the rich but will be distributed to meet the needs of the poor. One may argue in a multitude of ways that Jesus didn’t literally intend for us to sell all our possessions, but through Scripture it is unnegotiable that the rich should generously strive to meet the needs of the poor (Lev 25:35; Prov 22:9; Matt 25:31-46).

Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go, sell your possessions, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” …Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” (Matt 19:21;24)

Yet, in the modern era, churches rarely preach this commandment to the level that Jesus taught (understandably so). While many pastors would regularly call for their congregations to donate generously for the poor, the hungry or the needy, virtually no pastor will dare advise their congregation to dispose their life savings to the church, nor advocate for a system similar in Acts 6 (a huge irony to me, given that my church is preaching a series on it now). In fact, economic statistics suggest that our society is headed towards greater inequality today. The same pastors that call for tithes at the pulpit also amass significant volumes of wealth from their congregations. I can’t imagine this was what Jesus had in mind when it comes to the stewardship of our wealth.

Is Christianity an idealistic mirage?

To me, these are some of the cases in modern society where Christian ideals perpetuated in Scripture clearly deviate greatly from the brutality of reality.

This doesn’t mean there is something inherently wrong with the ideals in Scripture itself. Far from it. Rather, in my personal view, having these ideals in mind is a way for us to continuously reflect whether we are steering our lives as individuals and collectively as society in the right direction. Are we heading towards a more equal society? Are we being more gracious to those who wronged us?

At the same time, I think it is also prudent to recognize that a universal application of Christian ideals is probably futile, simply become life doesn’t work that way. While some might be able to forgive quickly, others might take a lifetime to find that forgiveness (and even so, never find that reconciliation as preached in Matt 5:24). Submitting to a toxic boss with a heart of a servant may work to change hearts sometimes, yet don’t be surprised if they end up seeing you as a pushover instead (you should probably leave, if so). And no, churches should not be pressuring women to continue staying in abusive marriages. Often, victims are not granted the happy ending of repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation. That is how life goes.

The one answer to these problems in modern life that I find practically useless is to issue blanket Christian advice such as “Just forgive, and surrender all to Christ”, or “Trust in God that He is in control”. To me, that strikes me as a particularly insensitive approach to Christian living, even if said advice did stem from Scripture. It is easy to espouse forgiveness and control when you are a comfortable spectator. It can be nearly impossible if you are a victim of sexual assault, or some heinous crime perpetrated by someone close to you. If there exists a blanket solution to such problems, it would certainly be to start by offering a listening ear to those in need. Everything else should be context-dependent.

The moment we start combing through Scriptures to look for blanket solutions to complex, sensitive issues such as domestic abuse, group discrimination and social inequality, that is when we become no different from the Pharisees’ legalistic approach to Scripture. The solutions to life’s challenges almost always demand nuance, and Scripture is (among other things) a God-breathed guide to find those solutions that best align with His values. May we engage with that guide with reverence and careful discernment, not with bluntness and insensitivity.